His gambling got worse.
What It’s Like To Be In A Relationship With A Gambling Addict: The Aftermath
We had made special plans for a trip to celebrate my fiftieth birthday and saved up some money. It seemed that anything that was stressful was a trigger for him to gamble. That experience really opened my eyes to the extent of the problem and what had been going on. I was told at my first Gam-Anon meeting that it would get worse before it got better. I realized that I was enabling him by lending him money after he lost all of his so he could get through the week buying gas and work lunches.
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He actually went into a rage and threw away his wedding ring, which we never did find. So yes, it did get worse instead of better, and we eventually separated. My husband finally admitted that he did have a gambling problem but promised me he was done gambling.
Is there any chance he will sort himself out?? Emma, You are one brave, very strong and wonderful person. I am sure your fiancee deep down doesnt want to be like this with you.
Im going to play role reversal a little then make some suggestions. I loved my fiancee very very deeply when we met I was a compulsive gambler, i told her all would be fine, i worked hard, but I led a secret life, it was like my lover sorry to use that terminology , if I went out I would be late back, was chatting to the guys not really. The problem for my ex fiancee was that she could see the wonderful man I am beneath the gambling, the love of life, the humour the fun.ecole-lescadetsdelamitidja.com/includes/2019-09-20/2858.php
living with a gambler means living with a liar
Emma I first went GA to fix this issue but if someone really wants to change they must themselves!! I abstained for six months when I was with my ex fiancee but she beggan to trust again and I missed one meeting and slipped, I got back on the programme of recovery again but slipped bigger as she began to be influenced to leave me.
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This desease will always be inside him like it is me, if you truly wish to spend your life with this man then you and especially him need to understand how devastating this desease is and how if he takes one day at a time with the love of a good woman he can combat this and you both can begin to live a happy life, but you must understand this will be a constant control of money and you must always be aware of the signs that he is in action. I suggest also you look at gamanon as this will give you a clearer understanding also of what partners suffer through our illness.
When you love a compulsive gambler :(
Apart from that I truly hope your fiancee gets ont he programme and gives you the things as your fiancee he should, because to stick by him this far takes special praise and am sure if you control the money and he sticks to GA you will have a better life together. The last thing I will say and please do not resent this do not feel guilty for anything, you obviously ahve lived with this and understand it but it is not your fault it is simply a desease that your fiancee has and must for yours and his own sake do something about permanently for you both to lead a happy life together.
Hi Emma, Living with a compulsive gambler are all of the things that you have mentioned in your posting.
You need to protect yourself financially and stop enabling him to get money to gamble with ie loans etc. Then if you are prepared to live with this man you need to seek some support and a good starting point would be for you to go to a Gamanon meeting this is for the partners, family, friends of a compulsive gambler. Three jobs if necessary.
Consider all your outgoings, rationalize, plan, change your lifestyle. There will be bad days. Days you are full to over brimming with bitterness and injustice. You might even hear on the grapevine or via the kids that the person that pissed all your money away has got a new car, or has been seen eating in a restaurant, or is still not in paid work. You will be seething with anger, literally disgusted, betrayed again and resentful.
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You are working seven days a week and they are eating out and driving a new car? How can that be? The scale of the injustice will make your head spin. It will take a long time. But you are honest and proud. You will not be broken by a stupid chancer that gets a buzz from chucking money down the drain.
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